NO SMOKING

Second hand smoke can kill you.

We don’t know of anybody who’s actually died from it, though.


They’ve made it illegal. you can go to jail for second hand smoke, now.

Yeah, some of my friends are doing time for it right now.

You must have heard about it. It’s been in all the newspapers.

These people, friends of mine, were convicted of second degree murder for second hand smoke.

What happened was these people went to visit somebody whose apartment is not well ventilated.

They sat in a circle around him and all lit up at the same time.

And they SMOKED him!!




By the way, we’ve got to stop murdering people in the lobby. It’s posted. There are signs all over the place.

It says, “NO SMOKING IN THE LOBBY”





California’s tough anti-smoking laws have caused the greatest mass exodus of California citizens from California since the Three Strikes Law.


I’ve never smoked cigarettes. I’ve got an allergic reaction to tobacco that makes me sick to my stomach every time I try to smoke it, so I never learned how.

I never had any interest in smoking until they made it illegal. Now I want to start.

So I figure I’ll use THE PATCH.

The Patch is used for quitting and comes in three sizes, Large, Medium, and Small.

Each size is permeated with a pharmaceutically regulated dose of nicotine to be absorbed through your skin.

The first patch is the big one. It administers enough nicotine to get you through your first week without smoking and take you to the second stage where you switch to the medium patch, which administers a lower dose of nicotine daily, until the third week, when you switch to the smallest patch with a tiny dose of nicotine. After a week at the smallest patch, you are free to stop and never have to smoke cigarets again.

Well, I figure I’ll start with the tiny patch with the lowest dose of nicotine and work myself up to the largest patch so I can gradually increase my tolerance to tobacco
so that by the end of this time

I should be able to start smoking cigarets without getting sick to my stomach.



The way I look at it, it’s six to one, half dozen to the other.

On the one hand, no smoking in California. On the other hand, medical marijuana.

On the one hand, no illegal aliens. On the other, one out of every three people on Hollywood Boulevard is an extraterrestrial.